Monkey Conundrum
by ScapeArtist
Summary: Filler for 3.13 after Prince Charming and Hook leave the hospital having witnessed Little John turn into a flying monkey. They have a conversation on the drive over to the loft. *A/N* Didn't realize a small chunk of the story was missing, but it's fixed now! Thanks for reading!*


There was nothing else to be done. The man named John had flown off screeching into the night, and Robin Hood along with the men who accompanied him to the hospital were in equal parts distraught, horrified, and bewildered. Rightfully so, Hook thought. While there were worse fates in this world, turning into a flying monkey was pretty high on the list of ends Hook planned to actively avoid at all costs. David offered the no longer Merry Men a ride to their camp, but they declined, instead preferring the familiarity of their own group and the night air.

Hook and the Prince were both silent as they returned to his vehicle. A light snow continued to fall, leaving a dusting on the windshield of the truck. Hook swiped at it before opening the passenger side door, the coldness just barely registering on his fingertips. He hopped up into his seat just as David got in and started up the truck, the engine just barely rattling to life. Sighing heavily, David set off the windshield wipers, clearing the fluffy flakes from his view. He reached over and turned a knob which sent a blast of cold air in Hook's face before it slowly began to warm.

"This is all so...fucked up. _Really_ fucked up," David said in disbelief.

"Aye, mate. That it is."

David smacked the palm of his hand on the steering wheel and then made a fist in frustration. "How are we supposed to..._eradicate_ this threat if they are also our friends?" he asked.

Hook thought for a moment before answering. Before, he would have told him to kill them anyway if he wanted to protect the ones he loved, but he knew better now. That was never going to be an acceptable answer.

"Well, they don't need to be killed necessarily," Hook said, the idea forming in his mind. He continued on, "Maybe just neutralized until the curse can be broken."

David turned to look at him, hands still resting on the wheel. "How so? You got an idea?" he asked with an edge of excitement.

Hook shrugged. "You're the former shepherd, you tell me."

"You mean catch them or...or corral them?" the lines between David's eyebrows deepened as he considered each option.

"Possibly," was all Hook could offer because he really had no experience with herding or former-people-monkeys, flying or not.

Slumping back into his seat, David threw up his hands and shook his head. "How _the hell_ do you catch a flying monkey?! Sheep I'm used to. Much smaller teeth and no wings. Evil flying monkeys though? Not a fucking clue." Rubbing his hand over his face and sighing again, David grunted in frustration. "Ugh. I need a drink."

Shifting in his seat to allow him the room to reach under his coat, Hook pulled out his flask and offered it to David. "Here."

David took the flask and uncorked it before toasting Hook. "Thanks," he said, then took a long pull on it and handed it back. He coughed and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and confided, "I'm not sure it was strong enough."

Hook let out a little huff and gave a sardonic smile. "Aye. I know the feeling, mate."

Revving the engine a little, David released the break and backed out of the parking spot he was in and headed toward the exit of the lot. Hook was looking out at the window, marveling at how familiar it felt to be back in Storybrooke. It had been a year's time for him, and he recalled each and every day, but time really did stand still in the town and it was like he had never left. He felt on edge as ever.

David interrupted his thoughts as they turned onto the main road. "Back in the forest...you said Emma was about to marry one of these flying monkeys? Wasn't just you being jealous, was it?"

Hook took in a deep breath and pressed his lips in a frown. "No, mate. He really was a monster."

David spared a perplexed glance at Hook and asked, "Did Emma know?"

"Well, obviously she didn't know. He looked human for the time they were together," Hook said, more than a little annoyed at the Prince.

"That's good," David laughed. "I would really start questioning her taste if not. How long were they together?"

"Emma said eight months."

David nodded to himself, looking impressed. "Huh. Interesting. It's a good thing you got there when you did then."

Turning to look out his window, Hook admitted quietly, "Not sure Emma would agree."

David reached over and patted Hook's shoulder. "Don't worry. If she didn't before, she will. You saved her from any future misery, because you know that...guy...was there for no good."

"More than likely."

The men were silent for a few moments before David spoke up again. "So based on Emma's close call, and what happened tonight, not only can people be turned into flying monkeys, flying monkeys can be turned into people?"

"Aye, looks that way."

David shook his head and huffed. "Like I said before. Fucked up. How are we supposed to trust each other if we don't know who is real and who's potentially a threat?" he asked seemingly discouraged at their prospects for solving the issue. Almost to himself he mumbled, "Being cursed was so much easier when Regina was the only one we had to worry about."

"We need to let Emma know about this latest development," Hook said.

David nodded. "She should be at the loft with Snow and Henry. We are almost there."

Big, puffy, flakes of snow were coming down a little harder now and David drove his truck carefully along the road to their loft. Before he found a parking space, he pressed Hook for more information.

"Last night you said during that year after you left us you were sailing the realms. Why?"

Hook raised an eyebrow and shrugged his shoulder. "Why not? Wasn't anything better to do. Pirate and all."

David shook his head at Hook, smirk firmly in place, as he called him out on his pat answer. "Please, you aren't fooling anyone, least of all me. What were you doing during that time?"

It was HookI know how impossible that task was. The fact that you succeeded...well..."

Hook nodded, unable to speak.

David clapped Hook on the shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. "Besides," he laughed, "I'd much rather have you in the family than a flying monkey."

"I'm flattered," Hook countered, sarcastically.

"I mean it!" David exclaimed. "I'm not fond of bananas. Although...you are pretty hairy..."

"Doesn't seem to be a problem for Emma."

"Okay, _okay_. Say no more. Please," David pleaded, eyes squeezed shut at the thought. He turned off the truck and pulled the keys from the ignition, but before he opened the door, he turned in his seat and looked at Hook.

"Promise me something, Hook," he said in all seriousness.

"What is it, mate?"

"Promise you'll always protect Emma...and Henry."

Hook gave him a small smile. "Too late. I already promised myself that."

With a satisfied nod, David opened the door and got out of his truck. Hook followed behind him up the stairs to the loft where Emma waited.


End file.
